This one is for the ladies, however, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander in my book, so all of these so-called rules apply to men, too. That said, let’s hope I survive this little heart to heart we’re about to have.
First, everybody take a deep breath and look at your feet. More on that later, but I need you smiling when you read this so I’m not burned at the stake. Anyway, let’s go.
Same
So, ladies, how bout that toxic dating pool rn? LOL…ami right? Scary, huh? SAMESIES!
As a man who still dreams of finding the right lady to raise “our” family with, including my four year old son, I have to say that it feels almost like there’s something in the air. Toxic negative tension to be exact, and i think it needs to be discussed.
In short, a lotta y’all just seem mad, like angry mad mad, and it shows.
It’s time to unpack some luggage, be introspective, and hopefully learn a little more about ourselves so we can all be the best we can be every day moving forward.
If you think you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
If you think you’re pretty, you’re pretty.
If you think you’re sexy, and bat those silly looking fake lashes like a majestic butterfly with that clown makeup on, it’s sexy af! Just saying, it’s that look. Plus, that eye makeup will get you (me) every single time. #facts
And that ladies, is my first point. You decide how you look, because it’s all in your attitude.
Believe in yourself. Own your power. Smile about it. Believe you are cute or sexy (if you want to do that, not making decisions for you) and go be cute and/or sexy!
You’re Right
You can sum up the underlying basis for this entire article within a quote by a man named Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right”
Ugly is an Attitude
Are you a jelly belly throwing angry glares all the time? No? Ok, well, do you have a continuous non-stop resting B**** face? Only sometimes? Ok. Revenge much? No? Uh huh, and nobody here in the room has put up hella barriers because of all the toxic everywhere? Right, well, I am the last one for sure, which is one reason why I’m slightly concerned about possible backlash from angry women who don’t like this article, but isn’t that actually part of the problem?
That said, let’s have an open conversation because these apply to both men and women alike. Be kind and smile, you’re prettier than you think.
Jealousy. Being jealous is ugly.
Revenge. Being vengeful is ugly.
Spite. Being spiteful just to be mean is ugly.
Grudges. Walking around holding grudges in your resting B**** face is ugly. I will also add, girl, he wasn’t worth it then, he’s still not now, and you’re letting it get in the way of Mr. Right that you just glared at in the store for smiling at you. Smile back, you’re prettier than you think.
Proxy. Being angry by proxy because someone somewhere might possibly be offended is ugly. Please stop, or at least try to be constructive in your criticism. Please.
I could go on for days because there is so much toxicity in the world today, like this gold digger glamor given to con men/women only out to get “theirs” is ugly, too. It’s on all sides. Ladies, please note that I put men first, again, because we are all equals on these topics here, even though I am speaking to you due to my own recent experiences.
Comin in HOT
In some cases, getting things off your chest can be a healthy way of taking inventory of one’s life situation, but “venting” can also be very unhealthy.
I am constantly bombarded with difficult tasks and people calling me with problems, it’s what I do. However, there’s this new toxic trend common amongst a few ladies that I know who come in hot no matter what. Complaining about everything in their day/life, while dropping their purse/bag, expecting you to understand, or honestly, care enough to listen.
Nearly every woman I’ve met recently for business who is 10-20 min late to a meeting, comes in hot, complaining about everything from traffic to their nail person who messed up. Like I said, it’s crazy, and it’s not constructive “venting” like many seem to deem acceptable. Let’s start with a simple hello, first.
I know just as many men who have the same problem with comin in hot, just to be clear.
For men, sometimes we have to chill out in the driveway or garage and cuss/cry before we come inside, so we are not coming in hot. I am not saying that it’s the most healthy way, I’m just pointing one method used to not come in too hot. I recommend finding a healthy outlet like working out, or cooking (that’s me), jogging for others, golf may be your game so putting a putter in the garage to chill out might be a good tip for many guys, I will let the girls make their list. P.s. I support this new “Lady Cave” trend because mental health is peaceful and most men want peace. Just try to remember, comin in peaceful, is hot!
“Too” Dark Humor
I can verbally joust with most, and I like “smart” dark humor, not mean degrading dark humor with malice intent. You think you are funny? No, those are insults. You are mean. Don’t be mean, it’s ugly. Please be nice, and smile, you’re prettier than you think.
There are always exceptions to every rule, and these aren’t even rules, so there’s a million exceptions and interpretations one could take from dark humor, and comedy is the best. Let’s end on a few exceptions that I just love, and we’ll pick this conversation up again later.
Two women who have a darker side to their humor, who I just love, are Iliza Shlesinger and was going to say Tiffany Haddish until I just looked up her page. What is happening? I do not know, just, wow. Perfect example of toxic world no matter what the facts are. I am not passing judgement without facts. Just, wow.
Anyway, dark humor has it’s place. Just make it funny. Let’s end on a laugh tho (she’s not really dark, but still funny), so we can all smile.
@ilizas Millennials walked on Instagram so Gen Z could run on TikTok 🏃♀️ #standup #genz #millennial #eldermillennial ♬ original sound – iliza
Thank you for reading. Smile, You Are Beautiful and Sexy!
After I get some initial feedback from you, I will post an updated version with more details, thoughts, and opinions from readers.
Final Thoughts
I can find beauty in many things, and I’m not alone in that. So believe in yourself. Own your power. Smile about it and be constructive with a plan for success (you know which shade/outfit combo I’m talking about ladies) instead of being toxic. Believe you are cute or sexy (if you want to do that, not making decisions for you) and go be cute and/or sexy or whatever you want to be. You can do it, smiling just makes it a little more fun, whatever your “it” may be. Cheers.
Again, thank you for reading. Smile, You Are Beautiful and Sexy!
